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I’m A Horrible Human Being

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I am a horrible human being. I manipulate people, get way with sin, and use my judgements to hurt others. I am not going to blame all of these things on satan or being born into sin. I choose these things and I am only tempted by the option of them. As a christian, I find myself asking for forgiveness multiple times a day for sins that I keep committing. And I have done many things that I wish I hadn’t. I have told huge lies that have snowballed out of control, I have hit my mom, and I have tried to kill myself. I know now that I am forgiven for all of these things and many more sins, yet I try to continuously try to hide my past from everyone as if we all don’t already know that we are sinners. It’s because I fear judgement and loneliness. Since we all sin, we all judge, but because we all sin we should all love one another and lift each other up. I can’t fear my past sins anymore because I have grown and learned from them. I am still a horrible human being, but at least I know I am one. Now I can grow because of my past. I can be a better me. I know I have left people broken in my past. I know I have people who still can’t stand my presence. But should I still feel guilty for the things that God has forgiven me for? and the things they refuse to forgive me for? I need to be the better me that God is creating me to be. And I will fight to be what God has called me to be. And when I die, I won’t be horrible, I’ll be what he truly intended me to be.

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One thought on “I’m A Horrible Human Being

  1. For a Christian this is truest growth. To the secular world it would appear you have no self-esteem. Praise God for your growth and awareness of who He is in your life.

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