I feel like I’m constantly trying to keep myself from drowning. Failing at keeping my head above the waterline. I’m unable to find the right combination of muscles to keep me swimming. I can’t even float on my back without sinking. The miracle is that even though I know I’m drowning, I remain calm and convinced that I’m not going to die. Even with the unknown miles below and beside me, my body recognizes it all. It’s even in my home. Home is where the hurt is, home is where I’m allowed to feel it. It doesn’t matter how dark the water turns or how thick the air gets. I keep fighting, sinking. Many times I have tried to just sink to the bottom. To fill up my lungs with water and have that be the end but I can’t drown until it’s time. I can’t miss the sunsets and star light. I can’t give up hope that one day I’ll be okay.


The Waterline 


15 thoughts on “The Waterline 

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    • Edgar Astray says:

      I do have an email subscription service! If you are on a laptop, there will be an option on the right hand side of my website.


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  4. First of all I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question in which
    I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know
    how you center yourself and clear your head prior
    to writing. I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my
    thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just
    seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are wasted simply just trying to
    figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?


    • Edgar Astray says:

      Thank you! To be honest with you, it takes practice when writing and when you aren’t. Since I write mostly things like creative short stories and poetry, I find a broad topic and I try to focus in on something specific about it. Most of my process is thinking about the topic and not being able to stop. So I write random thoughts down, then I focus on trying to expand what I write from there. Sometimes I will start in the middle of a poem. If your problem is trying to stop thinking about work, school, or home life while trying to write, then I suggest a journal. Write about random things that you think about or that stress you out. Writing is always going to take what seems to be forever. I write poems and it can take me days to finish a couple of lines. I love writing and I wish I could just hammer out something awesome in less then 30 minutes. I know it can be hard to write sometimes but whether it takes you 2 minutes to start or 4 days, take the time because rushing it won’t produce something that you will take pride in. So get a dictionary/Thesaurus, whatever you write on, and don’t worry about how good it will be. That’s what editing is for. 😉 Hopefully this helped a little. Feel free to ask me anything else!


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